18. No before yes: How to learn from writing you hate

As a rule of thumb on this podcast, I try to keep things generally positive, since most of us have enough negativity in our creative lives. This month, though, I’m inviting you to take a little trip with me to the realm of evaluation, judgment, and yes, even snark.

But let’s be clear: I don’t mean snark directed against yourself. I’m talking about letting yourself just really, really hate something you’ve read that somebody else wrote. And here’s why:

Sometimes, it’s easier to learn from work we don’t like than from work we do like. Sometimes we need to indulge in a really deep “no” to get to an even deeper “yes.”

Let’s go deep into how to distill wisdom from snark – without being too much of an asshole.

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Writing praxis tips

In the episode, I mention two types of “no” response that can be especially fruitful to unpack through some reflective questions: the “guilty pleasure” response, and the “existential loathing” response.

Here are some prompts to help you dig into each of these more quickly and directly when they come up, so you can uncover that illuminating deep “yes” inside the deep “no.”

Guilty pleasure prompts

• What makes your enjoyment of this story feel different from stories you aren’t embarrassed to enjoy?
  
  
• What does that reveal about your own writing – is this embarrassing thing something you truly want to distance yourself from, or is there actually something to reclaim here?
  
  
• If there is something in this guilty pleasure story that you want to reclaim or own – what’s the real discomfort that makes you categorize this as “guilty,” and how can you start to let go of that judgement?
  
  
• On the other hand, if you truly dislike it, what is the specific line you want to hold around this in your own work? Is this theme or this kind of storytelling just something you have no interest in touching? Or is it something you want to explore, but only in certain ways?

Existential loathing prompts

These prompts will help you identify the real core of what’s bothering you about a book or story when you know you hate it, but aren’t totally sure why.

• Start listing the surface symptoms of your intense reaction to this writing. These could include (but certainly aren’t limited to):
  
  
  • a character you want to eject from the story
  • a stylistic choice that’s actually making you rageful or depressed instead of just annoyed
  • a logic flaw that seems so obvious but yet is somehow completely ignored
  • an emerging pattern or theme that’s undermining the overall tone or premise, apparently without the author even noticing
  • an ending that is such a gut-punch that you kind of wish you hadn’t read this thing at all
  • etc.
    
    
• Once you’ve got a catalogue of your grievances, look for common threads. What assumption, outlook, or approach seems to be driving these aspects of the writing? How could you sum it up in a line or two? Here are some examples of the type of core statement to aim for:
  
  
  • The most interesting part of this story is the characters’ trauma.
  • Romantic love can overcome past abuse if the attraction is strong enough.
  • Logic is always a better guidepost than intuition.
  • Happy endings aren’t realistic enough for serious writing.
  • It’s okay to write about harmful ideas, tropes, or stereotypes if you’re doing it to set up a joke.
    
    
• Where does this core element of the writing conflict with your own values and ethics as a storyteller? How can you sum up your perspective as a positive ideal to uphold in your future work?